--*What Are We Blaming Ourselves For That Is Really Somebody Else's Fault?

--*I lost my job. Am I a loser?

--*Why has George Clooney fallen out of love with me? Did I do something wrong?

--*I know I'm going deaf because I just can't hear the first 30 minutes of <em>McCabe &amp; Mrs. Miller</em>.

--*I must have been dressing too sexy for Mr. Polanski.

--*I wish I didn't have a sexual orientation that made everybody so uncomfortable.

--*Damn me, always getting shot in the face.

--*Me and my stupid vulnerability to lead paint poisoning.

--*Who am I to ask for health insurance from the government?

--*If I weren't gay and pro choice, 9/11 just wouldn't have happened.