--*What New Bills Are Wending Their Way Through Congress?

--*The Carrie Bradshaw Affordable Footwear Act of 2009

--*The Henry Hyde Memorial Early Pullout Birth Control Law

--*A Thank You To Libertarians For Getting No Acts Passed Act

--*The Cleanup of Inactive Mines and Requirement that Lindsay Lohan Wear Underwear Act

--*The Enhancement of Ability to Fight Methamphetamine Act

--*The Enhancement of Methamphetamine to Make It More Kick Ass Act

--*The Let's Build A Wall Around Pamela Anderson and Her Hepatitis Act

--*The Boosting Workplace Morale by Firing Spanish Speakers Act

--*The Credit Default Swap Prohibition Act

--*The Derivatives Prohibition Act

--*The Automobile Prohibition Act

--*The Bell Bottoms Prohibition Act

--*The Let's Let the Credit Card Companies Just Fuck Over Anybody They Want To Act

--*The Thank You To Metrosexuals for Their Service to Their  Country Act

--*The Let's Reconcile With Cuba Act

--*The It's Not Too Late To Invade Cuba Act

--*The Tax Incentive to Sell Your House and Buy a New One Every Year Act

--*The Economic Stimulus Through Building Unnecessary Bridges In the Middle of the Desert Act

--*An Act To Repeal All Income and Payroll Taxes, Abolish The Internal Revenue Service and Create a National Sales Tax, Otherwise Known as the "Let's Set Poor People On Fire" Act