--*Who Do We Think We Are?

--*The guy who's going to eat your lunch.

--*The guy who's going to eat that whole pizza.

--*The woman who's going to break up your marriage.

--*The photographer who's going to make this the best high school reunion ever.

--*The radio host who's going to ruin Barack Obama's day.

--*The man who's going to snort a couple of bumps and then drop dead playing racquetball.

--*The man who's keeping the Fed funds rate at 2% so that the resulting weakened dollar will cause exports to spike.

--*The guy who told you all along that gutting the Glass-Steagall Act was a bad idea and would wreck the economy.

--*The grocery clerk who's going to force you to use that gun.

--*The Lesbian your mom's gonna move in with.

--*The lady astronaut who will drive all night, not even stopping to change her soiled astronaut diapers, to win back your love.

--*The man who opened the Berlin Wall by accident.

--*The man who taught Anna Nicole how to love.

--*The woman who taught Grover Norquist how to love.

--*The woman who gave the most guys chlamydia at South Beach last spring break

--*The guy whose potato looks more like Jesus than any other potato in this part of Nebraska.

--*The guy with the biggest opening weekend in box office history

--*God

--*Jesus

--*John Lennon

--*James Cameron

--*It doesn't matter who I think I am, because existence precedes essence, and only my actions define me.

--*I don't know who I am, but maybe I'll have it figured out by the time this reality show I star in begins its third season.