--*How Are We Getting Out of This?

--*Deflecting the situation with jokes.

--*Promising we'll never do it again.

--*Deflecting the situation with lead paint remediation

--*Promising to make amends.

--*Deflecting the anger with gifts.

--*Deflecting the situation with both jokes and lead paint remediation.

--*Yelling fire, running away.

--*Dropping to our knees and begging forgiveness.

--*Dropping to our knees, begging forgiveness, offering up tickets to Maroon 5.

--*Grabbing an innocent bystander as a human shield.

--*Kissing the baby.

--*Grabbing a baby as a human shield, kissing innocent bystander, promising lead paint remediation.

--*Telling a dead baby joke, using Maroon 5 as a human shield, yelling fire and running away.

--*Kissing mother in law.

--*Giving mother-in-law Maroon 5 tickets, running away.

--*Yelling fire and running away.

--*Telling jokes, enjoying playful banter with Woody Harrelson.

--*Promising Woody Harrelson Maroon 5 tickets and lead paint remediation.

--*Stopping sandblasting work on the Williamsburg Bridge and offering lead paint remediation to local residents suffering adverse health effects

--*Offering $300 tax rebate checks in the mail as an apologia for invading Iraq.

--*Saying Chicago doesn't need the god damned Olympics anyhow.

--*Enjoying playful badinage with Woody Harrelson and Maroon 5 until running away and yelling fire while holding up a baby to deflect criticism, scorn, lawsuits and/or gunfire.